Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I Have A Beef: Law Abiding Citizen

I just saw Law Abiding Citizen, and it made me dumber.

Jamie Foxx plays an attorney for the city of Philadelphia - not a detective, or a private investigator, although you'd never know it. At one point the Mystical Mayor of Philly actually appoints him the magical District Attorney of Philly at a Super Secret Midnight Meeting before single-handedly putting the city under martial law due to an incredibly low-level threat. And this is only one of the less-stupid things about this movie.

This movie is just plain painful for anyone who knows anything whatsoever about the United States' judicial system.

ARRRGH! Why did a 12-year-old watch an episode of CSI:Miami and decide to use all of his or her knowledge of law to write Law Abiding Citizen? It plumbs the depths of stupidity! ARRRRGH!

All this being said, there is a really cool death By cellphone (????) moment in the film, not to mention multiple magical exploding cars.

And Philadelphia's District Attorney Jamie Foxx does, indeed utter the line, "fuck his civil rights" regarding the chief suspect (Gerard Butler) in the case Foxx is, for some reason, investigating prior to breaking and entering and discovering all sorts of ridiculous evidence against said suspect that would then be rendered completely inadmissable in court.

So I guess the movie has being retarded going for it, at the very least.

Avoid this thing at all costs, unless you're an absolute moron.

I'm not even that smart, and even I know that this movie is a fucking stupid pile of shit. I can't imagine what the rest of the populace thinks of this travesty.

Ugh. I'm almost completely done watching movies at this point.

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